


Here lies Kaito Kumon, not so dearly departed

by galaxyeyedrops



Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 06:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2457515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxyeyedrops/pseuds/galaxyeyedrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warnings:<br/>- That Asshole is Dead</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here lies Kaito Kumon, not so dearly departed

**Author's Note:**

> I am so so sorry

Kaito is peaceful in death the way he never was in life. His face is smooth, free of any glares or scowls, and to Zack, it almost looks like he's sleeping.

If he concentrates for a moment, he can imagine Kaito ~~is~~ was a different man. Imagine a more peaceful man, a happier man, a more spi-

_Oh shit._

The thing was, that despite the Baron name, despite the clearly western influence for everything, Kaito had actually been a pretty big shrine person.

Which probably meant he was pretty big on religion so Zack clearly had to figure out burial rites stat. Because yeah, Kaito had tried to destroy the world. And yeah, Zack had tried to kill him but Kaito was _Kaito_. It wasn't like the past few years meant nothing.

It wasn't like they weren't still friends.

And so Zack gets up, filled with resolve. He puts one foot in front of the other, intent on seeking a source of water, trips on Kaito's arm, and promptly falls flat on his face.

There's a snap and Zack is accompanied by waves and waves of pain.

"Kaito," Zack wheezes out, slowly losing the fight to remain conscious. "Maybe you can wait a little while?"

Kaito doesn't respond. He is dead.

...

He can't do it. He just can't.

Peco had admired Kaito above all else.

Kaito was cool. Kaito was honorable. Kaito was the best. And in his own way, Kaito cared about them.

He wasn't as cruel as others made him out to be.

The thing is that even as Zack left the cafe, Peco still believed in an ending where they could all stay alive. Where they all could be happy.

Of course, now with the proof glaring at him, carried out of the streets by the military, he can't say the same.

His breath hitching, Peco pulls out his cell phone and dials a number.

It ring for what seems like an eternity before someone on the other end picks up.

"Kirishima Shrine," a bored female voice says.

"I, um. I..."

"Yes?"

"I..."

"Yes?" The voice remains passive.

Frustrated tears gather at the edges of Peco's eyes. He had accepted it, so why can't he say it?

Clearing his throat, he tries again.

"I-I need to plan a funeral. My friend... He's dead."

"Next month." The answer comes so quickly that it takes Peco a minute to process it.

"Huh?"

"We're booked. Filled with corpses until next month."

The woman's voice shifts, sounding faintly apologetic. "Could you hold on to it for a few weeks? Put it in a freezer or something?"

...

In the end, Chucky notes, it was Meiya who pulled through.

Her girlfriend's uncle's friend's sister ran a shrine. Several others were too full or had problems with conducting services for Kaito Kumon, asshole extraordinaire.  The man, who despite Yggdrasil document leakage, was still all over the internet for trying to attack crowds with Invess.

However, Meiya's girlfriend's uncle's friend's sister was above such things. She didn't care for petty things like that. She wanted more. She wanted money.

Something Kaito had plenty of.

So with Kaito’s money, they manage to pay their way for him and Ms. Minato both.

And it all goes normally after that. The bodies are cremated. Names are recited. Bones are picked.

Or it would have, if Kouta didn’t decide to show everyone that he wasn’t dead right in the middle of the wake.

……

Mitsuzane Kureishima is depressed. No, he has no right to be depressed. After all the things he did, after all the people he tried to control.

But that doesn’t mean he had the right to feel happy either. In fact, he didn’t have the right to feel.

So absorbed was he in his non-feeling loneliness that he didn’t notice the piece of scum, no, person who was nowhere near as horrible as him, until he bumped into him.

“Zack,” he says in a perfectly dead voice, the only voice he was worthy to speak in.

Zack scrambles on the ground for his crutch, rising with a fair amount of difficulty.

Mitsuzane does not apologize, does not help him up. He is not worth offering to help other people up.

Zack grins at him, a bit uncertain.

“Hey Micchy,” he says. “This weekend we’re going to conduct Kaito’s wake. I know you two weren’t close but we were all Beat Riders and I’m sure he’d love to have you there.”

_Kaito looks at him and smirks. “You are my enemy.”_

“I doubt it.” Mitsuzane says tonelessly.

“No, I’m sure!” Zack is strangely insistent now. “He couldn’t completely hate you.”

_Kaito grabs onto his collar, pulls him close, only a breath apart, and pushes him away. Their lips brush briefly._

Absentmindedly, Mitsuzane traces his bottom lip with his finger.

Apparently Zack takes this the wrong way (or was it the right way?) because he backtracks immediately.

“The thing is, that around the end, Kaito wasn’t exactly in his right mind...” His trails off at the end, overwhelmed and uninspired.

Either way, Mitsuzane Kureishima does not care. He has no right to.

…

Akira Kazuraba wears black. She wears black and attends the wake of the man who saved her, the man who Kouta talked about over dinner, the man who tried to destroy the world.

She carries a silver and black envelope, her new bonus inside, and quietly listens to the priest recite.

She hopes, more than anything, that she won’t be back here in a week or so. That someone won't find a body and Kouta won't join the man he killed.

Kouta, who then, decides to show up in a lightshow from the sky, bleach-blond and dressed in armor so flashy, it makes the Team Baron kids pale in comparison. Mai is next to him, slightly more subdued, but sporting the same color palette.

Akira's pretty sure she taught him better than this.

The priest doesn't stop reciting his sutras, points to Kouta and Mai both and then a spot near the back of the group.

Kouta holds up a hand. He clears his throat before starting in what promises to be a long long speech. "I've known Kaito for a few months but to me..."

Akira's also sure that Kouta should know better than this, that Mai should really know better than this, but for now, she forgets herself and runs up to hug them both.

(The priest looks fairly put out. Akira isn't sure whether it's because he was interrupted or nobody invited him to join the ensuing group hug.

She doesn't particularly care anyways.

Neither does Kaito. He is still dead.)


End file.
